So after not touching this for like a year or something I decided to do the obvious: rewrite the whole backend in glorious PHP! Yes, the future is now! In the future I haven't decided if rewriting the news flashes is worth the effort. If you have an opinion on this please post a helpful newspost.
Anyway, how are you? I'm fine.
At any rate, in the time away I wormed myself into the dark side of gaming journalism, and I didn't like what I found. Things got ugly. Things got nasty. Things definitely got weird. Witness my experiences at a recent Blizzard press conference, and know terror.
Anyway, I popped in to yak a bit about the Pope up and dying, not due to molestation but rather due to the Wrath of God. That's some unpleasant business right there, but it happens, and somebody has to pick a new Pope. Who is going to do that you ask? Why I do believe it's me. Feliz Navidad!
Fun fact: this shit took three days! Shit's hard! Shit's real hard! I demand your love!
But seriously, folks, everybody's favourite "democracy" ended up being unfortunate enough to keep a very scary government in charge, so as a sort of primer for what the next four years will be like I put together a guide on selected members of the team. Read it for school credit. Don't worry, though, it's not actually educational.
Hmmmm, I wonder what would happen if America was created in the time of the Mongols and the fucking goddamned shiteating Iroquois.... let's find out!
Also, yesterday was State Og Saturday Saturday Saturday, and I actually did something for it. It's right here and it's waiting for your deep perusal, all night long. I wrote Relaxing Vacation, which is topical because I'm going on vacation next week. Joy!